Sail Away

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Posts by Sail Away

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  26

  Planning Your Exit

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  did you have a plan to leave the organization?

  i did.

  it took a couple of years but we did leave and never had a desire to go back!.

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  Sail Away

  No planning involved. I walked out of a ministry school meeting, because I just couldn't stand one more word about the coming death and destruction at Armageddon. I mulled over my long-standing doctrinal issues including shunning of family members for six weeks on my own. Not a word to my husband. I didn't want him to influence my decision. Knowing I wasn't about to shun my DF'd son once he moved out, I was done. I told my family I wasn't going to be a witness anymore. To say they were surprised is an understatement.
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  16

  I have enjoyed the shunning in the past. But why not now?

  by sinboi in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am prepared for shunning when i send in my da letter.

  my dad was furious when he comes back from overseas and find out that i have da myself.

  yes, i do regret not talking to him first before i da...i also know that my mom is crying in her room.. but they didn't chase me out of the house.

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  Sail Away

  Welcome Sinboi! I'm so sorry your family is treating you this way. I agree with everything pale.emperor said. You do sound young, but you express yourself well even though English may be your second language.

  Be the best son you can be. Stay in school. Go to college. One of my biggest regrets in life was not going to college. It truly limits your options in life. So many interesting job and business opportunities require higher education.

  Also, do stop smoking. Both of my children stopped smoking within the last year, and I'm so happy for their freedom from the habit. They were both highly motivated to quit, and it was still so hard. Don't go down that road. Save the money you would have spent on cigarettes for your future.

  I care about you!

  Diane
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  34

  Will Watchtower target the inactive?

  by ToesUp in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if watchtower has no reason to df ones.

  they have just become inactive.

  do you all think wt will begin a witch hunt (df'ing) for these inactive ones?

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  Sail Away

  I don't think it's necessary for them to go after "inactive" JWs. The cult mind control is so strong that indoctrinated JWs pre-emptively shun any who are less "spiritual" than they are, even if there was no announcement.

  Three "sisters" were doing RVs in my neighborhood a couple of days ago. I refuse to play the shunning game, so I walked up to the car while they were sitting in the driveway chatting. My neighbor was not home. I said hello and smiled. There was a lot of stammering and looking down. They were clearly uncomfortable. The only thing the driver could come up with was, "oh, I see you still have the same little dog." The former elderette *itch in the back seat just glared at me.
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  23

  last psychology session tomorrow

  by Phoebe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so tomorrow is my last appointment with my psychologist.

  we are going to commemorate it by giving each other a letter.. sept 2016 i sat, a quivering wreck, in her waiting room.

  i was terrified.

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  Sail Away

  So happy for you, Phoebe ! I'm delighted to count you as a cyber friend and hope we meet one day.

  I agree with DesirousofChange. Report your abusive brother if he doesn't resign as a elder.
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  40

  How Many Here EVER Considered Going Back To Meetings?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  once i left ,i was done.

  in over 10 years i didn't return except for my mother's funeral.

  did you ever re enter the kh after you left?.

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  Sail Away

  I took my son's former MIL to the D.A., and shortly after I made lunch for the substitute C.O., because I was on the list and was still in "Let your yes mean yes mode". Surreal watching the Stepford bobble heads. I was incredulous that a man younger than my son was the Sub. 30-year-old C.O. using training wheels.

  I went to the next Memorial TM to appease my closest JW "friend". Never again. Seeing all the little kids dressed up as corporate drones sickened me. Several third/fourth gens in that congregation. Sad, wasted lives.

  To be clear, I was in no way ever tempted to return to the organization once I walked away.
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  23

  How many "leave the truth" because of the behaviour of harsh elders?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  just wondering how many are assisted to wake up after experiencing harsh treatment from "the loving shepherds of the congregation"?.

  perhaps some were starting to wake up, and such behaviour or treatment gave them the push to leave?.

  as jesus supposedly said "come to me all who are toiling and loaded down, and i will refresh you.

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  Sail Away

  The elders harsh behavior was just the icing on the cake. I had long-standing doctrinal issues and severe cognitive dissonance to the point of an emergency hospitalization for being over medicated for PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder and severe, recurrent clinical depression.

  They DF'd my son. Rightly so-- he told them, 'I have a girlfriend' (separated, but still married) as he blew cigarette smoke in their faces and said, "Just Fuc*ing disfellowship me." They obliged. I chose not to shun him, instead I walked away.
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  27

  What Type of Elder Body Did You Have?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was an elder in two different congregations and both were conservative and strict, especially congregation number one.

  it was headed by a former branch servant as they were called back then.

  all elders were by the book.

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  Sail Away

  For the last 20 years before I left JWdom, I attended two congregations that met at the same hall. One had the rural side of the large territory and was conservative, cold, reserved and strict. Social gatherings were heavily monitored, and everybody knew everyone else's business. Most were related and gossipped a lot. The other came from the more populous beach area-- most elders were successful smalll business men or in management for the local nuclear power plant and the submarine base (save the one villiage idiot-- no offence to our own VI!) They were much more relaxed, even joking on stage. It was a much more loving congregation and fun group. The elders were approachable.

  I was baptized in the conservative one and later moved back there. After 9 years we moved into the socially chill congregation's territory, but not knowing any better, I stayed in the same rural congregation, even though I wasn't "assigned" there, mainly because I had known them most of my life.

  Because of a family situation, the elders in the conservative congregation asked me to change to my assigned congregation, since my son lived at home still, and they didn't want to involve two BOEs in "The Situation."

  When everything eventually settled down, and my son was disfellowshipped, they tried to get me to return to 'help support weekday field service.' I said, 'No way in hell.' with a big smile and in perfect JW speak.
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  22

  Need help with a reference dealing with the Generations and SPLAINE

  by ttdtt in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  when originally explaining the "new generations" splaine used the example of joseph and his brothers.. he backed up the time difference between the original anointed, and the new ones by using what he said was a big age difference between the youngest "joseph" and his oldest brothers.. then more recently in a jw broadcast - he said that there was not a big age difference between joseph and his oldest brother.. can any one help me find both those, please?.

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  Sail Away

  One does not need to explain fantasy (overlapping generations) just enjoy it for what it is (stupidity). I truly believe that this "overlapping generation" bull sh*t is the final nail in the coffin for many jw's-- eyeused2badub

  Yup. First thought upon hearing this at the then District Convention was, "That's crap." Out less than a year later.
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  13

  "Secret Sins"... a catalyst for change both negative and positive

  by silentbuddha in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been completely out for close to 5 years and i have spent alot of time with individuals who either left or are in the process of leaving.

  whenever we get to talking about what made you leave or what was it that made the flip switch, the initial answer is some doctrinal teaching.

  in other instances it was just sorrow or a variety of other things.. however, as you get closer to many of these individuals it was generally a secret sin they committed at the root of it all.

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  Sail Away

  Buddhism is an intriguing faith... so much so that even in my distaste for religion have a profound respect for the belief system. --silentbuddha

  I do respect many of the teachings, but bottom line, it's still a patriarchal belief system.

  My reasons for leaving were an unwillinglneed to shun my DF'd son and doctrinal issues that spanned decades.
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  8

  Ex-JWs In The Dating Scene - It's A Whole New Game

  by pale.emperor in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  since leaving watchtower it still strikes me as odd how little i knew the real world and how it works.

  i thought i knew how it worked but it turns out i didnt.

  as jws we were always "courting with a view to marriage".you go on one date with a girl and everyone's expecting you're gonna marry her?

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  Sail Away

  As JWs we were always "courting with a view to marriage".You go on one date with a girl and everyone's expecting you're gonna marry her? You know the drill. You meet at a JW get-together or convention. You get the number. You arrange to meet up at a party or something (lots of chaperones of course). You maybe kiss. You date for a few years then get engaged. Looking back is the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard.

  Date for a few years? Ummm, try date and get married in three months. I know for a fact I'm not the only one.